Submissions

What we want

Aphorisms. Definitions. Reviews of specific performances, with venue and rating. Letters, particularly regretful ones. Anything short, written straight, and funny because it is true rather than because it is rude.

Long pieces, if you have one. The bar is that it has to be about something other than its subject by the third paragraph.

What we do not want

Photographs. Recordings. Anything involving a named private individual who has not asked to be here. Anything whose entire content is the word itself in capital letters — we have received this joke, it arrived complete, and we are keeping it.

Terms

You keep everything. We ask for the right to print it here with your name or a pseudonym, whichever you prefer, and to include it in anything printed on paper later. If money is ever made from a piece of yours, you will be paid for it, and we will write down the number before we need to.